i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
