and next time when you feel me up, do it right
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
