is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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