I can tuck mytits in my pants
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
