I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
