Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
