the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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