Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
