This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
