I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
