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• (817): View more from Texas

  I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I guess it was more of a nightmare.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  again?

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• (347): View more from New York

  your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  they call him Oral-B. enough said

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.

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• (323): View more from California

  My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese

  (818): View more from California

  They know nothing, John Stoned.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.

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