haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
