You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
