yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
