A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
my sisters under your porch take her home
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
