sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Randomize
