Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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