I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
