Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
