I swear she didn't look like that last week.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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