I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
