margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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