What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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