I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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