I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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