Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
