i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
