I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
