fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My hand turned me down
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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