Your face is a jimmy john
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
