He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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