We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
