So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
