allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Jerry, you need to find god
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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