im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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