if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
