your room smells of hookers.
And success
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
