yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
