Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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