remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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