Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
