last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
