he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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