somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
