I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
