remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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