so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
