I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
