Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Bring me that man meat
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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