Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
